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I need your advice :)

There is a guy I really like, I’m kinda obsessed with him and can’t stop thinking about him. Anyway, I asked him a couple of weeks ago if he wanted to do something, go out :) He answered like this “I’m sorry but I have to say no for the moment, I’m gonna realize I want to eventually though :)” And then I said I would be happy to whenever he can, and that we should talk again soon. But now it’s been a month and I really want to see him. What should I do? We go to different schools so we don’t meet unless we plan to.. :/

Submitted by Hanna.
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Uhm, I’m not really sure what he means by what he said? I mean, you either want to see someone, or you don’t…. so that’s slightly confusing. You can ask him again if you want to but don’t say “we should go out sometime”, give him an actual day and time and place, that way if he doesn’t want to see you, he has a way out. Also, you will know if he wants to see you by what he does. He will either a) say, no sorry I can’t I’m busy that day or b) yeah, sure or c) I can’t that day but how about Tuesday next week?

If he says he can’t see you that day but then suggests another time to meet up, you know he wants to see you. If he says no and doesn’t suggest any other time, you can take it as he probably doesn’t want to meet up with you.

Good luck with whatever happens, dear.

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Anonymous said: It's been 3weeks after meeting this guy and I think I love him. I never felt like this before, not even with my two exes. With him it's different. Like from the very start, it's like we just clicked. Is it weird? He kinda feels the same with me. We exchange i love you's now and we kissed during our 4th date. Waaah. It's like happening so fast but I kinda like and don't like it at the same time. Should I stop myself from falling for this guy?

"I think I love him" …when you love someone, you know. It’s not a thought thing, it’s a feeling.

It’s fine that it’s moving fast but if you want to slow it down then have a chat with him and talk about your boundaries, how far you’re willing to go, how much you’re willing to do, etc.

I don’t see any reason why you should stop yourself from falling for this guy, you haven’t mentioned anything that would suggest he is a player or has had many girlfriends that you should be weary of. Just tread carefully though, cause you can’t really know a person after 3 weeks, it’s not a very long time.

Good luck x

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Anonymous said: Okay so me and my boyfriend is not together but he still wants to have sex , im hesitating because i dont feel that right im not a booty call but then agin i think i should because i dont want him to go and get sex from another girl , HELPPPPPP , please? :)<3

Don’t do it. He’ll think he can use you for that whenever he wants and he’ll have no intention of getting back together with you.

If you’re broken up why don’t you want him to have sex with anyone else? Why does that matter to you? Obviously the decision is yours to make but if you don’t want to be used just for sex, then I advise against it. Think about why you’re not together anymore and what lead to the break-up if you need a reason not to do it.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

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Anonymous said: My boyfriend broke up with me today. He was my first boyfriend/ broken heart. We were only together 6 months, but I gave my heart to him. He says he still likes me, but neither one of us are ready to date yet, especially long distance (our colleges are 2,000 miles apart) until we mature. What do I do? Should I try to keep up some sort of relationship and communication and hold out hope? Or should I completely forget about him? Oh, and I'm already transferring to his college next semester...

Well I was going to say just let the relationship “tinker” out on its own, but if you’re moving to the same college next semester you might want to try and keep the friendship alive so it’s not awkward and so you have someone to hang with. I think that if you can just be friends with him, and go to college next semester not expecting anything to happen and just go with the flow, then you’ll be fine. You might even eventually end up together, you never know.

Good luck xx

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Anonymous said: this guy i've been talking to for about a month came to visit me during homecoming weekend! it was great, only he assumed we were going to have sex that night and i told him i wasn't ready just yet. he was totally cool about it. the next day he and his friends decided to go out cause they haven't seen each other in a while, but i haven't heard from him since he left. do i text him or just forget about it? i feel like he just wanted sex which sucks cause i really started falling for him

Unfortunately, yes. It seems like he did just want sex. You can text him if you like, just to give you some sort of closure but I wouldn’t really expect anything out of it. Just text him something casual like “hey! it’s been a while. been up to much?” and see how it goes from there. If he seems genuinely interested in talking to you then maybe ask him to meet up and see what unfolds.

Best of luck x

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Christmas Presents!

Me: what do you want me to get you for christmas?
Him:
Idk
Me:
You suck. just tell me what you want.
Him:
Nothing (:
Me:
You’re no help at all
Him:
I promise I don’t want anything. Just you (:

Submitted by crazy-child

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mylittlebigproblem said: So my dad left my mum and I when I was 2 for no reason. My boyfriend and I where cuddling and talking about birthdays. His is 11th of May,.which I just found out that, that's my dads birthday. Should I tell him, if so what should I say? Thank you! Xx

I’m not sure I’m understanding what you mean, dear. Why do you want to tell him that your dad’s birthday is the same day as his? I mean..what’s that going to achieve? Other than make him feel awkward that you’ll be thinking of your dad on his birthday. If you wanted to tell him, you should’ve told him at the time cause it’s kinda awkward to bring it up now? I mean obviously it’s up to you, but I don’t think it’s a necessary detail - especially if you don’t see/speak to your dad.

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Anonymous said: P1- hey I really need advice on my realationship and u r very wise. Me n my ex bf broke up abt two days ago after 7 months of dating. I love him so much but o broke up wit him because he told me he didn't know where the relationship was going and that he was unsure of his feelings. His family told him that by six months he should know if he would like to marry me or not.. which I think its true. I just don't know what to do anymore. I miss him n he is my bestfriend. When we broke up he only said

(continued) “okay” … I feel like maybe he doesn’t want me in his life. We havent talked and of I hadn’t texted him today maybe we wouldn’t have talked again. I just want him in my life. He is 26 and I am 21. All his relationships have failed because he is unsure of his feelings. Wat should I do?

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I don’t know if I agree with the whole “6 month marriage rule” but after seven months you should definitely know whether you want to spend more time with that person or not. I think that you were right to break up with him. You shouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t know whether they want to be with you. I mean if someone really loves you and wants to be with you, they make sure you cant get away, and make sure that you know how much they love you. I think it’s okay to want him in your life, you can be friends if you think you can handle that, but as for being with him, I don’t think it’ll work out. I mean if at 26 years old you still don’t know how to interpret your own feelings then he’s obviously not very mature, or you’re not the one for him. The fact that you broke up with him and he didn’t even try to fight it should be proof enough. If you REALLY want to be with him and you really think you can make it work then try meeting up in person and talking to him. Ask him questions that make him think like “why don’t you know?” “what’s holding you back?” etc.

Hope this helps and good luck x

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Anonymous said: Hey there, i really love your blog ! but i actually came to ask you for advice..I've been in a relationship with a guy for 9months & i really love(d) him but he cheated on me more than once. anyways, we broke up 7months ago, we didn't broke up with a fight or something he just left me without a reason. In the past 7months we still talked to eachother sometimes, i don't know what he wants one day he's like 'i miss you babe' &other days he's like 'i dont want you' please help, i still love him :(

Why do you love someone who thinks you’re worthless?

Just think about that. I mean, if he REALLY loved you, would he have cheated on you? I don’t think so. All he means when he says “I miss you” is that “I’m bored and no girls are giving me attention so I’ll run to my ex, she will give me attention!!” Seriously, that’s all it means. You might think you love him but perhaps that’s just because you don’t know any better.. especially if he was your first serious relationship. For goodness sake, HE CHEATED ON YOU!!! Why on earth would you want to go back to that life? Why would you want to put yourself through that AGAIN?

Ditch the loser, block him, delete him, delete his number - do whatever you have to do to keep him out of your life because seriously he is not even worth one minute of your time. Do it for your own self worth if for nothing else.

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Anonymous said: so i really need your advice.. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 months, he's met my parents and they love my boyfriend.. i always wondered why we never go to his house, all him and his other girlfriends went there. I've come to find out that his parents don't agree with my age.. he said we could go there but if his parents ever said anything to me being nasty he'd freak out... like id rather go there & them not like me, then never give it a try at all.. yah know? please help!

Well age difference is a pretty silly thing to not like someone over. I mean if your parents can deal with it, why cant his? Boy’s parents are supposed to be easy! haha. Anyway I think you should talk to him and say that you really want to meet them and go to his house because you want to see that side of him. Just be very gentle around the subject. Maybe you could suggest that you meet at his house and just say hello to his family and then you two can leave and go off to a movie together or something. Just introduce it slowly. I mean you don’t have to go there and have a 3 course meal with them the first time you meet y’know? Baby steps!

Good luck :)

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Anonymous said: Hey me and my guy bestfriend have been mates 4 years now and we are so close and our friendship is the best. The other week he told me he was in love with me. I was like OMG. I never expected it but all my mates knew he was and thought i knew it too. Anyways i told him didnt feel the same coz id never seen him as someone id date coz hes just always been my best friend n there for me but now we havent talked much since he told me and im worried im losing him as my best friend. what should i do?

I hate to be the one to break it to you but in girl/guy best friendships, one person is bound to fall for the other at some point. You may think it’s not going to happen to you, but it almost always does. I think that if you always made it clear to your best friend that you didn’t want to date him and you just wanted to be friends then there’s not really anything you can do; he can’t help his feelings.

I think that if you want to try and keep things as normal as possible then you should have a face-to-face chat with him about your friendship. Tell him that you love being his friend and love having him in your life but you really don’t see him in that way. Tell him why you don’t have feelings for him like that or just explain why you don’t think it will work out. Tell him that if he needs some space or time away from speaking to you then you’re happy to give it to him but that you definitely don’t want to lose him and if he says he needs space, don’t contact him for about a month or so and see if he tries to contact you. If he doesn’t and you really cant handle it after a month, text him or something and just say something simple and friendly but not too friendly like “hey, just thought I would see how you are, haven’t heard from you in a while…” or whatever you think suits better. I think that if you ignore it all and think it will just go back to normal, you’re going to lose the friendship completely. Just talk to each other.

Good luck :(

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theperfectporcelain said: Hi there :) My ex boyfriend, who i have been going out for nearly a year (on and off) skyped my bestfriend a couple weeks ago. He started asking how my friend was and stuff, and she sorta asked how "the girls who flirted with him" was, which he denied that they were his gfs. he moved on asking my bestfriend about me and how i was. my friend obviously said i wasnt exactly fine and cried for lots of nights, and he was like "then what do you expect me to do?" (continue on next ask box sorry)

(continued) i mean after we broke up he didnt say anything about it and didnt even try to make me stay and stuff (even when i asked whether he wanted to break up or not). he basically did nothing but keep hurting me (and i deleted him on fb, unfollowed him on ig and all those). why would he ask about me if he wasn’t going to do anything to fix/care? btw he also had an old fb acc which he deactivated himself and sometimes i see that acc being activated again, and the next day it would be closed again wtf…
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Maybe he only asked about you because he felt like it was the right thing to do. I mean he may still care about you but that doesn’t mean that he wants to be with you or that being in a relationship will work out. I mean it clearly hasn’t in the past if you’ve been in an off again, on again relationship. Maybe he doesn’t want to do that to himself anymore because he knows it can’t work. You should be feeling that way too. Maybe neither of you are in the right age or frame of mind to make it work, y’know. Everything has to align for it to work out. As for the Facebook thing, maybe he doesn’t want to be on Facebook all the time and only activates it every now and then to have a look at things. I think you’re just reading too much into it love. It’s probably best if you try to move on because if he wanted to be with you, let me tell you right now he would not waste one second being away from you. Trust me.

Good luck with everything. If you have any more questions feel free to ask me them x

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Anonymous said: is this a girl who runs this site? can you post a picture of yourself? you're definitely gorgeous

Maybe I’m a girl, maybe I’m a boy… haha.. and sorry but I don’t want to post a picture of myself. I like that people don’t know who I am, I think that in a way it makes me easier to approach/open up to. Don’t you think?

What makes you think that I’m gorgeous? It’s nice of you to think that though :)

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Anonymous said: I've asked other questions before on your Tumblr and i love what i hear from you! Ibut id like to ask another. My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago and I try to date hoping I will stop thinking abouthim. It hasnt worked and I dont knlw waht to do. I know he says he loves me, but how do i know? He always wants to know bout my past and everything. But I freak out everytime I go to tell him. My past is pretty bad. Any ideas?

I’m not sure who/what you’re talking about towards the end of your ask but as for getting over someone, THE WORST thing you can do, is get with another guy straight away. That is the WORST idea. Seriously. Take time off from guys and get used to being on your own. Learn to make yourself happy and love yourself and just live your life and love will find you. I know that sounds dumb and cliche but it could not be more true. Love knows when you are ready and it finds you.

As for telling people about your past, anyone who loves you and trusts you and appreciates you will accept you for everything you are. Including your past. You’ll see what I mean when you meet the right person.

Best of luck.

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Him…

Ok, so there is this guy i met named Ruben. He is the most beautiful man i have ever seen. Yet he is a tad bit older then me, he is in 9th grade while im in 8th. We met at a middle school band night at his school. Middle school got to play on the football field with high school. He had a crush on me… And his girlfriend. He likes to fool me. He has a girlfriend, but he says I love you to me and kisses me. Invites me to church and his house. I dont get it. I found a guy that got me over the one guy i couldnt. A guy that I dated for 2 years. Now i dont know. Its just like he loves me to… But he loves his girlfriend to. I dont know what to say. I cant give up or else im going to be in another depression. My last one was for 9 months… Until i met him. What an i say for him to understand. Please help!

Submitted by Alyssa. (No Tumblr)

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Alright let me just tell you something straight off that you most definitely need to consider. If he has a girlfriend right now and he is CHEATING on her with you, what seriously makes you think he wont do it to you IF he breaks up with his girlfriend? You really, really need to think about that. Long and hard. What you are doing and what he is doing is wrong. I don’t think that you would appreciate it if your boyfriend was cheating on you, would you?

There are two things you need to do. One, you need to break off all contact with him and two, you need to tell his girlfriend. She might hate you but she will appreciate it later on. You cannot let this continue. If you think you’re going to fall back into depression - go and speak to a professional. I’m dead serious. You cannot rely on another person for your own happiness. You have to find it within yourself and you have to be able to love yourself. Relying on someone else to make you happy and make you feel worth something is only going to cause you bigger problems in the future and your future relationships. Not to mention if his girlfriend finds out or catches you, what do you think is going to happen? Imagine how much worse it will be.

If he’s willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, he will cheat on you. Make the right decision. Good luck.