Anonymous said: I talk to this guy that my boyfriend doesn’t get along with anymore. My boyfriend knows I text him and stuff. My boyfriends on holiday and comes back on Saturday but in his absence this other guy has been texting me a lot and has asked me to the cinema several times despite me saying no, we haven’t texted anything sexual but ive got to know his likes and dislikes a lot more in my boyfriends absence. Everytime I talk to my boyfriend about the other guy he gets mad and says he trusts me so nothing
(continued) ..else should matter, but should I tell him? And is me texting this other guy essentially me cheating?
I wouldn’t call it cheating because it’s not like you’re keeping it a secret from your boyfriend that you text this guy. I would say it will be a branch out of cheating if you started liking him while you’re still with your boyfriend, or being flirty or whatever, but there’s nothing wrong with having guy friends even if you have a boyfriend.
Now, obviously your boyfriend gets mad because there’s a reason that they don’t get along. If you don’t know the reason why, I would suggest you find out because that could be why your boyfriend doesn’t like you speaking to him. Maybe he told your boyfriend that he likes you or maybe he’s stolen a friends girlfriend in the past or something like that.. who knows. It’s not strange for your boyfriend to get upset that you speak to him, even if he does trust you. Maybe he trusts you but he doesn’t trust the other guy and obviously he has a reason for that (especially since this guy keeps trying to ask you out which is pretty rude considering the circumstances.)
I think that once you speak to your boyfriend and ask him why he doesn’t like this other guy or why he gets so upset that you speak to him, you can then make the decision to tell him that the other guy asked you to go to the cinemas with him. If the reason they don’t get along is because of something that happened in the past, then I think that it’s okay that you leave the whole ‘cinema’ thing out of the conversation - you didn’t go anyway and telling your boyfriend would only upset him and make him not like the other guy even more. If this other guy keeps asking you out though, I think that he’s probably getting the wrong kind of messages from you and you will need to make it clear that you love your boyfriend and want nothing more than friendship with this other guy.
Good luck with it all, I hope all that made sense! xx
Ps. Put yourself in your boyfriend’s shoes. Don’t do anything that you would be uncomfortable with your boyfriend doing to you….