I have some posts queued for you guys but I need some help with something. Who’s good at sentimental gift giving? It’s for mine and the boyfriend’s 3 year anniversary which is on Friday and I need to get something done asap (I already have the present, just need your help to decide something), as in tomorrow. Just private message me on here if you’d like to help me decide on something!
I would really, really, really appreciate it :)
Anonymous asked: P1- hey I really need advice on my realationship and u r very wise. Me n my ex bf broke up abt two days ago after 7 months of dating. I love him so much but o broke up wit him because he told me he didn't know where the relationship was going and that he was unsure of his feelings. His family told him that by six months he should know if he would like to marry me or not.. which I think its true. I just don't know what to do anymore. I miss him n he is my bestfriend. When we broke up he only said
(continued) “okay” … I feel like maybe he doesn’t want me in his life. We havent talked and of I hadn’t texted him today maybe we wouldn’t have talked again. I just want him in my life. He is 26 and I am 21. All his relationships have failed because he is unsure of his feelings. Wat should I do?
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I don’t know if I agree with the whole “6 month marriage rule” but after seven months you should definitely know whether you want to spend more time with that person or not. I think that you were right to break up with him. You shouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t know whether they want to be with you. I mean if someone really loves you and wants to be with you, they make sure you cant get away, and make sure that you know how much they love you. I think it’s okay to want him in your life, you can be friends if you think you can handle that, but as for being with him, I don’t think it’ll work out. I mean if at 26 years old you still don’t know how to interpret your own feelings then he’s obviously not very mature, or you’re not the one for him. The fact that you broke up with him and he didn’t even try to fight it should be proof enough. If you REALLY want to be with him and you really think you can make it work then try meeting up in person and talking to him. Ask him questions that make him think like “why don’t you know?” “what’s holding you back?” etc.
Hope this helps and good luck x
Anonymous asked: Hey there, i really love your blog ! but i actually came to ask you for advice..I've been in a relationship with a guy for 9months & i really love(d) him but he cheated on me more than once. anyways, we broke up 7months ago, we didn't broke up with a fight or something he just left me without a reason. In the past 7months we still talked to eachother sometimes, i don't know what he wants one day he's like 'i miss you babe' &other days he's like 'i dont want you' please help, i still love him :(
Why do you love someone who thinks you’re worthless?
Just think about that. I mean, if he REALLY loved you, would he have cheated on you? I don’t think so. All he means when he says “I miss you” is that “I’m bored and no girls are giving me attention so I’ll run to my ex, she will give me attention!!” Seriously, that’s all it means. You might think you love him but perhaps that’s just because you don’t know any better.. especially if he was your first serious relationship. For goodness sake, HE CHEATED ON YOU!!! Why on earth would you want to go back to that life? Why would you want to put yourself through that AGAIN?
Ditch the loser, block him, delete him, delete his number - do whatever you have to do to keep him out of your life because seriously he is not even worth one minute of your time. Do it for your own self worth if for nothing else.
Anonymous asked: so i really need your advice.. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 months, he's met my parents and they love my boyfriend.. i always wondered why we never go to his house, all him and his other girlfriends went there. I've come to find out that his parents don't agree with my age.. he said we could go there but if his parents ever said anything to me being nasty he'd freak out... like id rather go there & them not like me, then never give it a try at all.. yah know? please help!
Well age difference is a pretty silly thing to not like someone over. I mean if your parents can deal with it, why cant his? Boy’s parents are supposed to be easy! haha. Anyway I think you should talk to him and say that you really want to meet them and go to his house because you want to see that side of him. Just be very gentle around the subject. Maybe you could suggest that you meet at his house and just say hello to his family and then you two can leave and go off to a movie together or something. Just introduce it slowly. I mean you don’t have to go there and have a 3 course meal with them the first time you meet y’know? Baby steps!
Good luck :)
theperfectporcelain asked: Hi there :) My ex boyfriend, who i have been going out for nearly a year (on and off) skyped my bestfriend a couple weeks ago. He started asking how my friend was and stuff, and she sorta asked how "the girls who flirted with him" was, which he denied that they were his gfs. he moved on asking my bestfriend about me and how i was. my friend obviously said i wasnt exactly fine and cried for lots of nights, and he was like "then what do you expect me to do?" (continue on next ask box sorry)
(continued) i mean after we broke up he didnt say anything about it and didnt even try to make me stay and stuff (even when i asked whether he wanted to break up or not). he basically did nothing but keep hurting me (and i deleted him on fb, unfollowed him on ig and all those). why would he ask about me if he wasn’t going to do anything to fix/care? btw he also had an old fb acc which he deactivated himself and sometimes i see that acc being activated again, and the next day it would be closed again wtf…
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Maybe he only asked about you because he felt like it was the right thing to do. I mean he may still care about you but that doesn’t mean that he wants to be with you or that being in a relationship will work out. I mean it clearly hasn’t in the past if you’ve been in an off again, on again relationship. Maybe he doesn’t want to do that to himself anymore because he knows it can’t work. You should be feeling that way too. Maybe neither of you are in the right age or frame of mind to make it work, y’know. Everything has to align for it to work out. As for the Facebook thing, maybe he doesn’t want to be on Facebook all the time and only activates it every now and then to have a look at things. I think you’re just reading too much into it love. It’s probably best if you try to move on because if he wanted to be with you, let me tell you right now he would not waste one second being away from you. Trust me.
Good luck with everything. If you have any more questions feel free to ask me them x
Anonymous asked: My boyfriend of 17 months forgot my birthday. It's not about presents, it just hurts that he couldn't care enough just to say happy birthday. Am I being crazy? Would this be a crazy reason to break up?
That is quite strange. I mean fair enough if he was your boyfriend for 17 days, but 17 months is a long time. I mean that’s pretty much 2 birthdays in that time?
I wouldn’t break up with him over that but I think you should talk to him about it. Maybe he’s got some stuff going on. I know of a friend who completely forgot her best friends birthday. Just slipped her mind. We were in school at the time and she went up and said hello to the best friend as usual and just forgot that it was her birthday. It was around exam time too so that might have been why she forgot. I mean it doesn’t really excuse it, but it might help you understand why. I think his answer will help you decide whether you want to be with him or not.
Good luck, dearest. If you need more help, let me know x
Anonymous asked: My boyfriend is my step brother, and we are super close. we have been friends for at least 2 years. Recently we descided to be more than good friends and he makes being around him very awkward. The only time i feel like he doesnt make things awkward is when were alone. But if we are around my mom and step dad, hes a completly different person. I really like him and i want to be able to feel comfortable around him. Any suggestions?
Well that’s a bit of a touchy subject. Do your parents know you are together? If not, that’s probably why he’s acting different. If they do know, then guys tend to not want to be all lovey dovey in front of their parents at first and that could also be the reason. I’m not sure in what way he’s acting different cause you didn’t specify but those are the only reasons I can think of based on what you told me. I think you should probably have a chat with him and ask him what is going on with him and why he acts that way around people. See what he says and just try and move on from there.
Sorry I couldn’t be more help. Good luck!
Anonymous asked: Okay so my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month and a half now and I couldn't be happier with him. The only problem is, he's black and my step-dad is super racist. I'm banned from dating black guys until im 18. I don't like having to date him in secret because it's just so stressful but he says he's willing to go with it because he really likes me. Do you have any advice on either how to tell/talk to my step-dad about this or advice in how to make our 'secret realtionship' easier?
The fact that your step-dad is racist is appalling - especially in this day and age. I mean c’mon?! I can’t even comprehend such stupidity from a grown human being. I’m glad you are not racist yourself and that he hasn’t passed on his ignorance to you. As for what to do, I think both you and your mother need to speak to him together to form some sort of intervention. If not for the sake of your boyfriend, but for the sake of some friend you may have one day who has a different colour skin. I mean, how can you discriminate based on the colour of a person’s skin!? Ugh. I can’t even. It’s people like him that make the progress society has made go backwards.
Anyway, if you can, sit down with him and your mum and have a chat about it. Ask him really strong questions like “how can you not like someone just because they turned out to be born with darker skin than you? How does that mean you know who they are?” and also things like, “what if I find the most amazing guy in the world who is going to respect me and do so much for me and it turns out that he has dark skin? Am I supposed to ditch him for some loser because you can’t handle it? Cause if you think that’s going to happen then it’s not. You need to understand that you judge a person on their character and their actions and their personality, not on the colour of their skin. If I’m younger than you and I can understand that, what’s your excuse?”
Just questions to really make him think about what he is doing. I would try and cover the whole racism issue before you decide to tell him about your boyfriend. You have to kind of ease it in with closed-minded people like that. Or if you wanted to, you could just bring your boyfriend over and deal with it boldly like that, ha :|
As for making your secret relationship easier, try and make out to your step-dad (assuming your mum knows about this by the way) that you’ve made a new friend, you don’t have to say boyfriend (since you’re “banned” from dating black guys.. ugh I cant) and just try and spend time with him away from home. Go to the movies, or to the shopping center or to your local hang out area, or wherever and try to skype as much as possible too when you can’t see each other. Secret relationships can be fun but they can get tiring too. It’s better if it’s out in the open. You don’t want to make your boyfriend feel like he has something to be ashamed of because he has different coloured skin to you.
Good luck with it all and sorry if I came off harsh but seriously, I just don’t understand how people can still believe in racism in the kind of society we live in these days. Hope it all works out xx
Anonymous asked: Hello, I want to say that what you do is great and very sweet because you go out of your way to help people. You should be very proud.I've known my guy best friend for 2 years now and he and I have had an amazing friendship. As time went on we started to like each other. He tells me that I would be a great gf for him but believes I can do better than him. I dont want to push him in a relationship with me but I also don't want to sit around and wait for him to change his mind. Any advice, please?
Aw thank-you for being so kind :)
Well do you think you can do better than him? Or do you like him? If you don’t think he’s right about you being able to do better then start a conversation with him and steer it in the direction of relationships. Maybe tell him a story about one of your friends relationship and then try to link it to you and him. Once you’ve done that you could probably say something along the lines of “I think you’d be an amazing boyfriend, especially to me. It just all depends on whether that’s something you’d want or not..” and kind of leave it as open ended so he has a few different ways to answer. If he doesn’t try to initiate anything with you after you’ve made it clear then maybe you need to see him as just a friend if that’s all he wants to be and wait til someone else comes along who actually wants that kind of relationship with you.
Anonymous asked: Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 months. Me and my boyfriend live in the same neighborhood & he texted me asking for me to meet him behind his friends house. When i got there he was just sitting there waiting and it started to poor rain... he just got up and hugged me and then we had this really romantic kiss in the rain. Later that night he said someone told him i kissed another guy and we got in a huge fight. Then he broke up with me, what did i do wrong? i didnt kiss a guy..
Oh, sweetie, I don’t know what to tell you other than your boyfriend is obviously a retard……… when could you have kissed some other guy if you were with him?! l don’t understand why your boyfriend who apparently loves you so much, would believe someone else’s “rumor” over you.
If it was a girl that told him you kissed another guy, then she’s jealous and wants your boyfriend.. or if it was a guy then he’s jealous of your boyfriend and wants you… if neither of those options is the case then maybe whoever told your boyfriend that you kissed someone else is just crazy and doesn’t like to see other people happy.. OR they saw you kissing your boyfriend and didn’t think it was him. I really don’t know. If your boyfriend will speak to you then you should see him in person and go over everything that happened. Tell him that maybe someone mistook him for someone else and thought you were kissing another guy. Make sure you tell him that it never happened and you’re really hurt that he would believe someone else over you. etc etc. If he wont speak to you then write him a letter and put it in his letter box and hopefully he will read it. If not, then you don’t want to be with someone who will take someone elses word over your own and would break up with you before even knowing the facts anyway.
Good luck x
she-loves-him008 asked: My boyfriend and I have been dating almost 9 months, we don't usually argue . But I've had a really bad past with relationships from getting cheated on to abusive things in the relationship. Everybody tells me my boyfriend now is good. And he's not gonna hurt me like the the rest have but I guess it's so hard for me to trust that something like that isn't gonna happen again. I guess I'm saying I don't know how to get over what had happened. Any advice?
Your past is not something you just “get over”. It takes a lot of time and patience. And probably also patience and love from someone else. That being said though, you cant punish your boyfriend for what someone else did to you. He’s not another boy, he’s your boyfriend and he has given you no reason not to trust him, so why shouldn’t you? Just because some other people are shitty? If your boyfriend is willing to be with you and willing to love you, then you have to do the same. Yeah it might end up in you being hurt, but if you don’t let yourself fall for him completely, it’s not fair to him. By him being there for you and loving you and caring for you like a boyfriend should every day, you will slowly build up your trust. I’m not saying it will happen overnight, but it will happen and you should keep your heart open and break down those walls. It’s only fair, especially if he’s letting you in.
Anonymous asked: im 17 and a senior in high school and my boyfriend is 19 and just went back to college, this is his second year there and it is 5 hours away. we have been dating for 4 months and we love each other very much. but i worry that he might find someone else or cheat while hes gone (he has many friends that are girls and has had sex with one of them before he knew me), he tells me not to worry and he loves me.. but i cant help but worry how can i not worry so much?
I hate to break it to you but, you’re probably always going to worry. Long distance relationships are really hard and being away from the person you love for long amounts of time, sucks. Really, really sucks. You’ve only been with your boyfriend for 4 months so you haven’t really had time to develop a strong sense of security within the relationship so that’s probably why you feel insecure and are saying things like “I’m worried he might find someone else or cheat on me.” It’s natural to worry about those things though, as long as it isnt THE ONLY thing you think about and it doesn’t affect your day-to-day life or your moods too often, then it’s perfectly normal. If it starts to take over your mind and thoughts then it’s not healthy. I think that it would be best to lay some ground rules with your boyfriend about being long distance. Start by saying that you’re really enjoying this relationship with him and have very strong feelings etc etc but you want the relationship to be strong and based on trust. Tell him that if he makes a friend that’s a girl, you’d like him to mention it to you, or if he’s going to hang out with a girl on his own you’d like to know about it and not find out through facebook later on or something and tell him that you’d be happy to do the same thing. It’s not about the fact that he’s gonna cheat on you if he’s with a girl, it’s just peace of mind for you so that if you find out some other way later on, it’ll be okay because he’s already told you and you know he hasn’t tried to hide it from you. My boyfriend and I extend that same courtesy to each other about other girls/boys and that works for us. It’s just little things that you can do for each other that will ease your worrying. Once you start to feel more secure in the relationship, the worry starts to get less and less :)
Good luck xx
danij418 asked: My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months now. I just recently moved 2.5 hours away for school so we're trying long distance. In my past relationships, I've always been the one walked out on and left with nothing. I trust my guy and I really have no reason not to, but I have this gut feeling that something is wrong. Granted, my past has left me a little insecure, more and more each time and it's made me afraid. I've been away from him for a week now, and I've noticed that on a social
(continued..) site and “checking out” girls. I don’t know if he’s talking to them or if anything is even going on I’ve just seen that he’s looked at their profile. I have this itch that someone is going to take my world from me. We talk everyday and have good communication, but I don’t wanna confront him about it cause I don’t have a good reason to. I can’t tell if I’m paranoid or if something is going on. I’m fine until I see that he’s looked at another girl. Is it something I should worry about?
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I don’t think you should be worried, no. It’s human nature for girls and guys to look at the opposite sex and think “they’re attractive” or “they’re cute” or whatever and the fact that your boyfriend does that does not mean he doesn’t love you or doesn’t think that you’re attractive. And it definitely doesn’t (always) mean that he’s going to leave you for one of them. Obviously the distance is getting to you and it will definitely be difficult to adjust in the beginning. Just give it some time to get used it. I know it’s hard to have trust in someone when you’ve been betrayed so many times, but you have to understand that just because someone else did it to you, doesn’t mean your boyfriend will. He’s not the other guys you’ve dated, he is himself and you shouldn’t hold the fact that there are some shitty people out there against him. It isn’t fair. The fact that he was willing to continue the relationship and try out long distance should prove to you that he really is happy with you and obviously doesn’t want to end the relationship. If he did, he would have. I don’t know what social media site you’re talking about, but so what? What about if he’s at school or something and he speaks to a girl. A social media site isn’t going to tell you that. You have to trust him. And if he hasn’t given you a reason to not trust him, then you need to just relax and enjoy the time you do get to spend with him.
“Don’t worry, be happy, oooh oooh oooh oooh” haha :)
Anonymous asked: (I was the one with the boyfriend for a year and a half who never fight and has a bitchy friend) so basically she was my best friend and she started hanging out with this other girl and partying all the time and she told me that the reason we're not friends anymore is because I spend too much time with my boyfriend. I mean, yes, I do spend a lot of time with him when I dont have other plans, but when I make plans to hang out with someone, i will. Should i just ignore her? shes ridiculous, right?
She is being a bit ridiculous but that’s just probably because she’s upset. If she hasn’t had a serious relationship or isn’t in one at the moment, it’s hard for her to understand the situation. People always spend more time with their partners than with their friends (if it’s not a long distance relationship) and that’s just the way it goes. It’s more of an issue when you’re not in school anymore and don’t see your best friend everyday like you used to and it’s probably just hard to adjust.
If you still want to be her friend, don’t ignore her but just try talking to her and ask her to hang out a couple of times. If after you see her a couple of times, she doesn’t return the favour and ask to catch up, then I’d probably consider it pointless to try and continue the friendship if it’s only going to be one-sided. You can obviously keep trying after that if you like, it’s up to you and where you see the friendship progressing to.
Good luck! xxx
Anonymous asked: I want to tell my boyfriend I'm so happy that he wants to keep the baby and that i love him so much but i don't know how
What do you mean you don’t know how? You just said it to me so why cant you say it to him?
Just stop him at some point during a conversation and say “I just want you to know that I am so happy that you want to keep the baby and are willing to stand by my side and support me. You have no idea how much that means to me. I love you so much and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Thank-you for everything.” or something along those lines.
You can either say it to him or write it in a letter. It’s up to you.
Good luck and congratulations :) xx
