Anonymous asked: I've been dating my boyfriend for about three years now, and he proposed to me. As much as i like him, I'm nineteen years old. He gave me the ring to think about it, what do i do!? Sometimes i think marrying him would be wonderful, and other times i think it would be the worst thing ever and we would be divorced before forty. Advice please!!
I’ve answered this message as soon as I saw it because I figure it’s kind of urgent that you get a reply.
Wow, a proposal? That is gigantic! The fact that you’re even having any doubts shows that you’re not ready. And I applaud you for not just saying “YES YES YES” in the moment. You have to really, really think about what it is that you want out of the relationship in the future and if he can give it to you. Nineteen years old is young to get married, but if you feel ready, there shouldn’t be any reason against it.
Is your boyfriend older than you? If he is, it’s possible that he’s experienced more than you have and knows that he wants to be with you forever, and is ready for it. Marrying him, if you love him, will be wonderful, but it will also be incredibly difficult. You cannot go into something like that thinking it will be easy breezy because it won’t be. Personally, I would never be able to marry someone who I haven’t lived with first. How do you know you’ll be able to live with someone for the rest of your life if you don’t give it a test run first?
You could suggest using the ring as a promise ring instead because you really want to be with him but you’re not ready for something like marriage just yet. You need to be 100% honest with him. If he loves you, there should be no rush to get married anyway. You can still love someone without being married. Maybe you could say yes to being engaged but that you don’t even want to think about the wedding unless you feel ready.
Just make sure you don’t leave him hanging, always be honest with him and talk him through your feelings as you’re having them. Being distant from him will crush his feelings and make him have doubts about your feelings for him. Don’t ever feel pressured into something you’re not ready for though. You should try talking to people who are in your position or have been in your position.
If you message me with your Tumblr and not on anonymous, I’ll be able to give you some Tumblr’s of people who married young/have just been proposed to, by replying privately to you so that you can maybe ask them for advice if you like.
I’d like you to keep me posted if you wish. Let me know what happens. All the best with it though love. xx
