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Anonymous asked: P1- hey I really need advice on my realationship and u r very wise. Me n my ex bf broke up abt two days ago after 7 months of dating. I love him so much but o broke up wit him because he told me he didn't know where the relationship was going and that he was unsure of his feelings. His family told him that by six months he should know if he would like to marry me or not.. which I think its true. I just don't know what to do anymore. I miss him n he is my bestfriend. When we broke up he only said

(continued) “okay” … I feel like maybe he doesn’t want me in his life. We havent talked and of I hadn’t texted him today maybe we wouldn’t have talked again. I just want him in my life. He is 26 and I am 21. All his relationships have failed because he is unsure of his feelings. Wat should I do?

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I don’t know if I agree with the whole “6 month marriage rule” but after seven months you should definitely know whether you want to spend more time with that person or not. I think that you were right to break up with him. You shouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t know whether they want to be with you. I mean if someone really loves you and wants to be with you, they make sure you cant get away, and make sure that you know how much they love you. I think it’s okay to want him in your life, you can be friends if you think you can handle that, but as for being with him, I don’t think it’ll work out. I mean if at 26 years old you still don’t know how to interpret your own feelings then he’s obviously not very mature, or you’re not the one for him. The fact that you broke up with him and he didn’t even try to fight it should be proof enough. If you REALLY want to be with him and you really think you can make it work then try meeting up in person and talking to him. Ask him questions that make him think like “why don’t you know?” “what’s holding you back?” etc.

Hope this helps and good luck x

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Anonymous asked: My boyfriend left for BMT and we've been discussing marriage. We have plans to get married next summer after I finish this year of college. We've already made it clear that I will finish my degree even if we get married now. I guess what I'm trying to ask is in your opinion should we wait it out till I finish college here? Or would it be stupid in your opinion to get married now?

The decision is first and foremost, your own but I will give you my opinion since you asked for it. Marriage, to me, is a really, really big deal so I don’t think that it should ever be rushed. If you’re in love then that’s fantastic but you don’t need to run off and get married in the next 5 minutes to prove it. I don’t think it’s stupid to get married now or tomorrow or whenever, but I do think you should really think about it. Don’t you think something like a wedding and marriage would distract you from your studies? What happens if you get pregnant and can’t finish college? Do you want to have an established career or good job before you focus on starting a family? If you and your boyfriend really love each other then it wont hurt either of you to wait just a little bit longer, but if you think that getting married would be really good for you, then do it! Go with your gut feeling but just make sure you weigh out all your options.

Best of luck with everything :) xx

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Anonymous asked: 1/2* Right. im 18 and my boyfriend Dan is 20. he has a 3 bedroomed house and a stable job as a chef. In February earlier this year, he proposed to me (i said yes) but we've agreed to get married after im 21. In April this year, he said he wanted us to try for a baby. Ive always said that im not going to have one until im over 20 with a proper job, so i told him that it was something huge and i would have to think about it. i told him no but he started aurguing with me saying that he had a 3

(Continued….) bedroomed house and a good job with good money. He also said that he would take time off work to look after the baby whilst i found a good job. i kind of agree with some off what he is saying, but i still dont no weather i am ready to have a baby yet. This whole thing is causing more arguments between us and im afraid that it will drive us apart. Dans dad is moving to Australia in 5 months and that’s the only thing he wants to tell him before he goes: hes expecting a baby. what should i do? x
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NEVER let anyone force you into doing anything you don’t feel comfortable with. And your fiancee telling you that you have to have a child is one of them. Do you understand how huge that is? You’re 18 years old! You have your whole life ahead of you to have a baby. Do you want to be tied down with that kind of commitment at 18? If your fiancee loves you as much as he claims to, then why cant he wait until you are ready to have a baby? Why would he want to force something like that on you? Just because he has a stable job and is in a career that he loves, what gives him the right to tell you what to do? What, cause he has a career, you don’t need one? All you’re supposed to do is pop out kids when he tells you to? That is ridiculous.

I’m sorry if this offends you or if I’m being rude but I really, really disagree with your boyfriend’s mentality. Why should he get to take time off with the baby while you look for a job? I’m sure that after having a baby, your priority would not be to get a job, especially since he has such a good one. I mean it’s fantastic that he can support himself and you and has his own house and can afford that kind of lifestyle at the age of 20 but if you are not ready then do not do it.

You will obviously not end up regretting having a child, but it’s possible that you will regret having one so young. I assume you live in America or something of the sort where the legal age to drink and go to clubs etc is 21. Do you want to have a baby right now? Or do you want to enjoy your life, being young and doing whatever the hell you want without having to worry about a baby? Honestly, I know it sounds like I’m against this, probably because I am, and maybe someone else will have a different perspective but, I just don’t see why he is forcing you and arguing with you about something that ultimately you have the decision to make.

All I will say now is this. If you are not ready, do not let him force you into it. If he wont stop trying to force you then you need to give him an ultimatum and say “I want to be married before I have a child and I want to be ready. If you can’t be supportive of that and of me, then maybe you don’t deserve to be with me.”

I’m sure Dan’s dad would prefer it if his son didn’t say “hey dad, I know you’re leaving but guess what - you’re gonna have to come all the way back here pretty much as soon as you step foot in Australia because we’re having a baby!” You know? Do you see where I’m coming from? I’m sure that Dan’s dad would also appreciate his son enjoying his time with you and his life being young rather than being tied down with a baby. Also, a baby will tie you to Dan’s life, pretty much forever. I know you said yes when he proposed but you have to think about if you’re ready for that kind of commitment too. A baby is very, very, very expensive. Even if Dan makes good money, it usually takes combined wages to successfully support a family home, two people and a baby. (usually, but not always obviously.)

You can ignore everything I’ve said and do whatever the hell you want cause it’s your decision and yours only. Not Dan’s, not your parents, not his parents, not your friends. Yours. And you need to make it. Maybe me being so full on against this will make you realise that you do want to have a baby… Who knows. But I wish you all the best with whatever happens :) xxxxx

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Anonymous asked: I've been dating my boyfriend for about three years now, and he proposed to me. As much as i like him, I'm nineteen years old. He gave me the ring to think about it, what do i do!? Sometimes i think marrying him would be wonderful, and other times i think it would be the worst thing ever and we would be divorced before forty. Advice please!!

I’ve answered this message as soon as I saw it because I figure it’s kind of urgent that you get a reply.

Wow, a proposal? That is gigantic! The fact that you’re even having any doubts shows that you’re not ready. And I applaud you for not just saying “YES YES YES” in the moment. You have to really, really think about what it is that you want out of the relationship in the future and if he can give it to you. Nineteen years old is young to get married, but if you feel ready, there shouldn’t be any reason against it.

Is your boyfriend older than you? If he is, it’s possible that he’s experienced more than you have and knows that he wants to be with you forever, and is ready for it. Marrying him, if you love him, will be wonderful, but it will also be incredibly difficult. You cannot go into something like that thinking it will be easy breezy because it won’t be. Personally, I would never be able to marry someone who I haven’t lived with first. How do you know you’ll be able to live with someone for the rest of your life if you don’t give it a test run first?

You could suggest using the ring as a promise ring instead because you really want to be with him but you’re not ready for something like marriage just yet. You need to be 100% honest with him. If he loves you, there should be no rush to get married anyway. You can still love someone without being married. Maybe you could say yes to being engaged but that you don’t even want to think about the wedding unless you feel ready.

Just make sure you don’t leave him hanging, always be honest with him and talk him through your feelings as you’re having them. Being distant from him will crush his feelings and make him have doubts about your feelings for him. Don’t ever feel pressured into something you’re not ready for though. You should try talking to people who are in your position or have been in your position.

If you message me with your Tumblr and not on anonymous, I’ll be able to give you some Tumblr’s of people who married young/have just been proposed to, by replying privately to you so that you can maybe ask them for advice if you like.

I’d like you to keep me posted if you wish. Let me know what happens. All the best with it though love. xx